sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
