I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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