you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
