She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize