i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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