So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
