Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
