my room smells like sperm. sweet.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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