i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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