my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize