you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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