Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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