what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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