I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
