Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
