I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
