you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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