this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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