i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You made out with two different species that night
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize