how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
