Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
