We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
