u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
