We named our party play list daddy issues
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
