We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
