Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
