My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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