We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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