Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
