Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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