She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
