well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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