i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
