she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
