And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
