dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We are two peas in an std pod
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
