you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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