He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
