I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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