There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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