Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Two words: blizzard sex
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
