I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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