That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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