porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
