So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
