I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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