3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
