Sry I called you an 8
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
