mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
