therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
