PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
my being single is dangerous.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
