he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
