they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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