At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
