Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
