You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
