i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
love makes seman taste better
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
