That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
