Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
