Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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