i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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