That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
