i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
